However, you need to write something warm and caring in a sympathy card. Subscribe to our weekly newsletter, In The Know, to get entertainment news sent straight to your inbox.It’s not easy to express condolences when someone passes. You can also follow her on Twitter or Facebook.) (You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. We have started doing this and honestly - it cuts down on the amount of “stuff,” while offering families opportunities to try new things. I liked your suggestion to give “family gifts,” such as memberships or experiences. Do you see him?”ĭear Amy: “What is Fair” seemed unduly worried about how to distribute gifts to family members who have different numbers of children. Perhaps instead of physically intervening you could notify a parent: “Brandon seems very close to the lake. I would react the way you do - nervously surveilling the scene and leaping up. Yes, at least one adult or responsible person should definitely keep an eye on the children. I love our nieces and nephews, but it gives me stress to see them acting out of control or getting into dangerous situations.ĭear Stressed: Young children are extra-vulnerable when visiting others’ homes, because of the exact dynamic you describe: Lots of kids of varying ages, unfamiliar hazards, and inattentive elders who are drinking and distracted. My husband and I have brought it to the attention of the in-laws, but they shake it off and say I should just join them and let kids be kids.Īm I wrong to think that young children should have an adult (or responsible teen) watching over them when at family gatherings? I, at 40+ years old, don’t get a chance to visit with adult family, as I am chasing the littles around to *literally* put out fires. The family would rather sit around, visit and drink while their children run amok, damaging property, and being out of control.įor years, I have stepped up to keep an eye on the children as I felt it was irresponsible to leave young ones unattended.Īs new children are born into the family, it is always the same. This can lead to situations, including the youngsters wandering unattended by the lake, riding bikes into busy roads and oncoming traffic, and hitting the family dogs. Whenever we are invited to family gatherings, his siblings do not mind their own children. If someone specifically asks you to pray for them, you might be able to do so using the broader definition of the word, which is an “earnest wish.”ĭear Amy: My husband and I have been married for more than 20 years. This - is an extremely powerful expression of your humanity. The most important thing is that you care and are offering yourself up as a concerned and supportive witness to someone else’s grief. You seem to understand that “prayers” are more valuable to the recipient than your personal thoughts or healing hopes, but I would argue that you can’t really know what people actually hear or receive when they are suffering or under duress. The personal phrases you use instead are thoughtful and sincere. Your point of view is greatly appreciated.ĭear Atheist: My point of view is that the “thoughts and prayers” phrase has been overused, misused, and sarcastically used so often that it has become a meme and therefore free of any specific meaning - regardless of the faith stance of the person using or receiving the phrase.
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